I've been thinking a lot about the individual and collective traumas due to the COVID-19 pandemic in the last couple of months. What you've said here really articulates what I've been ruminating and you've also put more shape to it through your expertise and knowledge. Unfortunately, I've lost long-time friends because of their held anger about those years and the government's handling of it. But, I've found in my own small community that we are all on the same page when it comes to rebuilding. We are connecting with one another, and it's through that human connection that we are also healing, both individually and collectively. It's beautiful, and I feel very lucky to have made a home in the middle of such a warm and welcoming neighborhood. Thank you for speaking to the elephant in the room, Skye. I always look forward to your posts!
Thank you so much Katrina, that means a great deal. I'm sorry to hear you've lost people that way, wherever one's views sit politically it's an ugly way for things to end. I've lost people too, though mostly to the normalisation of scrolling at home with takeout and socialising seeming to be less valued and perceived as more effortful. I'm looking forward to building my own community, some of it has already begun here on Substack and that's a beautiful thing.
YES! The COVID panic completely changed my life. In uber-liberal Brookline MA people are still wearing masks which for a person who is deaf closes off all human interaction. I can't communicate with doctors or health care providers because they are still insisting on vaccination, testing and masking. Truth be told I'm probably better off without the so-called care.
I still see a bit of that where I am too, and I can only imagine how hard it must have been to navigate those years as a deaf person. My mother is deaf, so I have some appreciation for the struggle, especially given how masking became such a potent lightning rod for so long. One thing I perhaps could hav emphasised more strongly is how it was such a profoundly lonely time for so many. Certainly for me. Thank you for commenting.
I think it’s fine to incorporate work about trauma in an ADHD environment. Anecdotally, every person I know with ADHD experienced some sort of trauma as a child. You can’t really talk about ADHD if you aren’t also going to talk about that.
Thank you, that's the assumption I'm operating under and I appreciate you sharing this Liv. I think I've taken the advice to "pick a niche" too literally, both for readers and for my own brain. Appreciate you stopping by.
I suppose I am one of those grizzled old timers with a beard, but no tattoos, along with your friendly bar owner, but for me it hasn’t been the last five years; it’s more like the last fifteen. In that time, I’ve been early retired by a new boss, widowed twice, had five surgeries, one minor the rest major, and spent 12 days in the hospital with Covid; and I’m still here by the grace of God.
As Jay noted, our reaction to Covid varies by where we happened to live when the plague started. But also by what we experienced before, during and after, and how we have processed all of it.
That beard is my silent protest to the whole Covid thing: it started growing while I was in the hospital with CV. (The whole thing; I have had a mustache and goatee since 2012.) When I got out, I decided not to shave again until the perpetrators have been named, tried and jailed; it’s still on my face.
For whatever His reasons, God has made me a survivor. I have always had a strong faith in God, but it was shaken in 1988 when father died from ALS, just as he was about to retire. I was angry with God for a good while, until a time when reading the book of Job that I realized it’s not my place to know why things happen, but simply trust Him to make it all work out.
To sum up, each of us has to work out some way to handle what life throws at us. For me, it is faith in God and Jesus the Christ. I pray that it would be the same for you.
Just a follow up: I happen to live in Texas, on the coast. That made a big difference. The church I attended when CV broke out shut down, except for video, for a couple of years. The church I now attend (and had some time before) shut down for two weeks, then they spoke with county officials and reopened. They are thriving, with lots of young families and lots of little ones.
And I think those of us with an artistic bent are better able to cope with such traumas. You wrote this essay because you could hold it in no longer. Besides being a writer, I also do photography and am a musician. Shortly after I recovered from the hospital visit, I went down to my local music store, whose owner I had befriended. It was a shock to learn that he had died of CV while I was in the hospital. At home, I pulled out my iPad and tapped in a piece I call "Elegy for the Covid Dead." It was truly a cry from my heart. It remains unfinished; I'm not sure I ever will finish it.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, John, and the meaning that faith and art have held for you throughout what you've survived. Each person's experience is completely unique, which is what I do try to hold in mind when I write something that generalises in this way. Yet there are threads of commonality in living through a global event. I appreciate you stopping by.
Reading this makes me so damn glad I was in Florida when it happened. For us, it was a couple months of mandatory teleworking and honor-system* stay-at-home. I was back in the office by June (most people at my office stayed home for a few months more).
Yes, when we're all siloed off in our own experiencing it's easy to forget how different those years were depending on individual states and countries. Some of us did 4-6 months at home, some had mandates, some were more or less on an honour-system as you say. I've appreciated everyone's different experiences from their various countries and states.
People often talk about having to stare at a wall after reading a good line. Never felt this (on Substack) till I read this.
Your writing here really made me think about my own experiences, my own life. It encapsulated a lot of my recent thoughts around personal shocks, the current political climate, my mental health, and the effects of the pandemic.
Thank you for writing this, it was really worth it.
I'm very humbled by your comment, Prakamya. When I wrote this, I didn't expect it to be resonant with people and it gives me (slight) hope that maybe we're approaching something like recognition and integration. Thanks for stopping by!
I'm in England and I don't recognise any of this. I assumed you were in the USA where they seem to have got much more worked up over masks and lockdown and jabs, but apparently you're in England too.
I'm not in England, so I do appreciate your perspective. I assumed much of the behaviour I refer to was probably clear online and in the worldwide news, so maybe it would be universally recognisable, but it's always helpful to hear when someone's experience doesn't match your assumptions. Thanks for commenting.
Hollllly cow that was outstanding. I mean, like, spot-on with nearly zero quibble; if I have any, I'd have to think real, real hard to find them. I will be sharing this broadly.
Big thanks to Holly Mathnerd for introducing me to you.
Always lovely to hear from a fellow therapist, especially when I am writing with a psychotherapy lens with nobody to sense-check for me! Thank you so much, and please share with anyone you think may find it useful.
It's strange that in England we went thru lockdowns too and the on and off of masks but we just soldiered thru it. It has been said of our then leader, Boris Johnson, that handling a pandemic wasn't in his skill set and that's probably equally true of Trump. But why was the USA so uniquely vulnerable to a minor upset? (Minor compared to Gaza, Ukraine, DRC etc)
And has any country learnt how to handle it better next time? This was a relatively low threat zoonotic. What will we do if ebola or lassa fever gets out?
Few people are truly worth of complete condemnation, but they do exist and certainly intense global events tend to shine a light on malevolence. Thanks for commenting
Thanks for sharing your experience, Jaye. The tricky bit about integrating trauma is that it's impossible to *know* how you're going to do when something pokes the bruise, until it happens. I agree that yes, in my experience the psychotherapy community are better than most at recognising that we are still impacted, but we're also not immune from the effects and the polarisation because we all lived through it too. Perhaps someday I'll write about that. Appreciate you stopping by!
When Covid struck. an anxious part of me felt like the rest of the world had suddenly caught up with how I always felt inside - and collectively joined me in the dark place. Like Chicken Little had finally convinced the brood that the sky way falling on account of an acorn- just as the whole world cracked open, collapsing the skies, tearing the ground and flinging flaming oak trees at everyone,
Consigned to our cages for safety - we watched from a distance as those we loved became lonely, or sick, or die. And it all felt somehow inevitable.
I was one of the lucky ones in Covid. My cage was far safer than my childhood one. Nor were there any foxes already hiding in there for me to get trapped with - other than myself. I'd spent my life gnawing my own feet off and Covid fed into my dependencies in whole new ways.
But the most agonising bit was to watch pain befall others and feel helpless to do much other than watch while I try and anticipate and alleviate the aftermath - that was painfully familiar.
I've been thinking a lot about the individual and collective traumas due to the COVID-19 pandemic in the last couple of months. What you've said here really articulates what I've been ruminating and you've also put more shape to it through your expertise and knowledge. Unfortunately, I've lost long-time friends because of their held anger about those years and the government's handling of it. But, I've found in my own small community that we are all on the same page when it comes to rebuilding. We are connecting with one another, and it's through that human connection that we are also healing, both individually and collectively. It's beautiful, and I feel very lucky to have made a home in the middle of such a warm and welcoming neighborhood. Thank you for speaking to the elephant in the room, Skye. I always look forward to your posts!
Thank you so much Katrina, that means a great deal. I'm sorry to hear you've lost people that way, wherever one's views sit politically it's an ugly way for things to end. I've lost people too, though mostly to the normalisation of scrolling at home with takeout and socialising seeming to be less valued and perceived as more effortful. I'm looking forward to building my own community, some of it has already begun here on Substack and that's a beautiful thing.
You certainly haven't wasted your time with this one. Really appreciate everything you said here. And it needs to be said. Thank you.
Thank you Paul, that means a lot. Often I feel like the only person still looping this round in my brain.
No. You're definitely not the only one
YES! The COVID panic completely changed my life. In uber-liberal Brookline MA people are still wearing masks which for a person who is deaf closes off all human interaction. I can't communicate with doctors or health care providers because they are still insisting on vaccination, testing and masking. Truth be told I'm probably better off without the so-called care.
I still see a bit of that where I am too, and I can only imagine how hard it must have been to navigate those years as a deaf person. My mother is deaf, so I have some appreciation for the struggle, especially given how masking became such a potent lightning rod for so long. One thing I perhaps could hav emphasised more strongly is how it was such a profoundly lonely time for so many. Certainly for me. Thank you for commenting.
I think it’s fine to incorporate work about trauma in an ADHD environment. Anecdotally, every person I know with ADHD experienced some sort of trauma as a child. You can’t really talk about ADHD if you aren’t also going to talk about that.
Thank you, that's the assumption I'm operating under and I appreciate you sharing this Liv. I think I've taken the advice to "pick a niche" too literally, both for readers and for my own brain. Appreciate you stopping by.
I suppose I am one of those grizzled old timers with a beard, but no tattoos, along with your friendly bar owner, but for me it hasn’t been the last five years; it’s more like the last fifteen. In that time, I’ve been early retired by a new boss, widowed twice, had five surgeries, one minor the rest major, and spent 12 days in the hospital with Covid; and I’m still here by the grace of God.
As Jay noted, our reaction to Covid varies by where we happened to live when the plague started. But also by what we experienced before, during and after, and how we have processed all of it.
That beard is my silent protest to the whole Covid thing: it started growing while I was in the hospital with CV. (The whole thing; I have had a mustache and goatee since 2012.) When I got out, I decided not to shave again until the perpetrators have been named, tried and jailed; it’s still on my face.
For whatever His reasons, God has made me a survivor. I have always had a strong faith in God, but it was shaken in 1988 when father died from ALS, just as he was about to retire. I was angry with God for a good while, until a time when reading the book of Job that I realized it’s not my place to know why things happen, but simply trust Him to make it all work out.
To sum up, each of us has to work out some way to handle what life throws at us. For me, it is faith in God and Jesus the Christ. I pray that it would be the same for you.
Just a follow up: I happen to live in Texas, on the coast. That made a big difference. The church I attended when CV broke out shut down, except for video, for a couple of years. The church I now attend (and had some time before) shut down for two weeks, then they spoke with county officials and reopened. They are thriving, with lots of young families and lots of little ones.
And I think those of us with an artistic bent are better able to cope with such traumas. You wrote this essay because you could hold it in no longer. Besides being a writer, I also do photography and am a musician. Shortly after I recovered from the hospital visit, I went down to my local music store, whose owner I had befriended. It was a shock to learn that he had died of CV while I was in the hospital. At home, I pulled out my iPad and tapped in a piece I call "Elegy for the Covid Dead." It was truly a cry from my heart. It remains unfinished; I'm not sure I ever will finish it.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, John, and the meaning that faith and art have held for you throughout what you've survived. Each person's experience is completely unique, which is what I do try to hold in mind when I write something that generalises in this way. Yet there are threads of commonality in living through a global event. I appreciate you stopping by.
Reading this makes me so damn glad I was in Florida when it happened. For us, it was a couple months of mandatory teleworking and honor-system* stay-at-home. I was back in the office by June (most people at my office stayed home for a few months more).
*i.e., widely ignored.
Yes, when we're all siloed off in our own experiencing it's easy to forget how different those years were depending on individual states and countries. Some of us did 4-6 months at home, some had mandates, some were more or less on an honour-system as you say. I've appreciated everyone's different experiences from their various countries and states.
People often talk about having to stare at a wall after reading a good line. Never felt this (on Substack) till I read this.
Your writing here really made me think about my own experiences, my own life. It encapsulated a lot of my recent thoughts around personal shocks, the current political climate, my mental health, and the effects of the pandemic.
Thank you for writing this, it was really worth it.
I'm very humbled by your comment, Prakamya. When I wrote this, I didn't expect it to be resonant with people and it gives me (slight) hope that maybe we're approaching something like recognition and integration. Thanks for stopping by!
It's weird sometimes how we have the same thoughts and observations 😅 We should hop on a call someday!
It’s always great to know it’s not just you, even when the subject matter is grim. We should!
Okidoki, let's actually do it soon though. #ADHDbrainforgetseverythingthereistoforget
I'm in England and I don't recognise any of this. I assumed you were in the USA where they seem to have got much more worked up over masks and lockdown and jabs, but apparently you're in England too.
I'm not in England, so I do appreciate your perspective. I assumed much of the behaviour I refer to was probably clear online and in the worldwide news, so maybe it would be universally recognisable, but it's always helpful to hear when someone's experience doesn't match your assumptions. Thanks for commenting.
Therapist here.
Hollllly cow that was outstanding. I mean, like, spot-on with nearly zero quibble; if I have any, I'd have to think real, real hard to find them. I will be sharing this broadly.
Big thanks to Holly Mathnerd for introducing me to you.
Always lovely to hear from a fellow therapist, especially when I am writing with a psychotherapy lens with nobody to sense-check for me! Thank you so much, and please share with anyone you think may find it useful.
My pleasure! I already sent it to my staff and some other colleagues.
Amazing, thank you again!
It's strange that in England we went thru lockdowns too and the on and off of masks but we just soldiered thru it. It has been said of our then leader, Boris Johnson, that handling a pandemic wasn't in his skill set and that's probably equally true of Trump. But why was the USA so uniquely vulnerable to a minor upset? (Minor compared to Gaza, Ukraine, DRC etc)
And has any country learnt how to handle it better next time? This was a relatively low threat zoonotic. What will we do if ebola or lassa fever gets out?
I don't despise people because of COVID. It just made it easier to know just who to despise and work to counter in the world.
Few people are truly worth of complete condemnation, but they do exist and certainly intense global events tend to shine a light on malevolence. Thanks for commenting
Thank you for writing an excellent article about trauma. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your appreciation Robynn, I'm glad to hear you appreciated it
Just last week I read another article on the lockdowns, written by a 'rebel', which we also were...to an extent.
It was triggering. My fight-or-flight kicked in.
I thought I'd packaged that up, but clearly I haven't. Not yet.
I've been in therapy for almost two years. Interesting timing, no? It wasn't the Covid event that got me started. Not directly, anyway
The therapists I've encountered have all indicated that people are still very much affected by the events of the past five years.
We're in this together for awhile yet
Thanks for sharing your experience, Jaye. The tricky bit about integrating trauma is that it's impossible to *know* how you're going to do when something pokes the bruise, until it happens. I agree that yes, in my experience the psychotherapy community are better than most at recognising that we are still impacted, but we're also not immune from the effects and the polarisation because we all lived through it too. Perhaps someday I'll write about that. Appreciate you stopping by!
When Covid struck. an anxious part of me felt like the rest of the world had suddenly caught up with how I always felt inside - and collectively joined me in the dark place. Like Chicken Little had finally convinced the brood that the sky way falling on account of an acorn- just as the whole world cracked open, collapsing the skies, tearing the ground and flinging flaming oak trees at everyone,
Consigned to our cages for safety - we watched from a distance as those we loved became lonely, or sick, or die. And it all felt somehow inevitable.
I was one of the lucky ones in Covid. My cage was far safer than my childhood one. Nor were there any foxes already hiding in there for me to get trapped with - other than myself. I'd spent my life gnawing my own feet off and Covid fed into my dependencies in whole new ways.
But the most agonising bit was to watch pain befall others and feel helpless to do much other than watch while I try and anticipate and alleviate the aftermath - that was painfully familiar.